Saturday, September 12, 2009

Sunday Funnies: Holy Shart!

I glanced up the stairs as I casually made my way up to the mayhem that seemed to be happening in my kitchen. As I reached the half way mark I changed into mom mode and my voice pitch followed suit, "What is going on!? Why are you fighting, what did you do!?" I swear when my children look back and remember me all that will come to mind will be those two sentences, because that is all they hear come out from between my otherwise useless lips.
I was answered with screams and complaints. I sucked in a breath of air to make sure I had plenty to inflate my voice to get my heathen children's attention, but stopped short as I stepped beyond the last step and into the kitchen.
My lecture stuck in my throat. "Eww, what is that smell?" I looked around my small table for the source of the dead animal and noticed that my three year old EM was perched rather awkwardly on her booster seat. She had her two arms straight as an arrow holding onto the little arm rests to either side of her. Her back was straight and her buttocks was clenched rather tightly.
"Oh, sorry mommy. I farted," said EM.
"Are you sure it was just a fart? That smells pretty bad." I responded with my nose plugged.
EM responded by slowly and carefully lifting herself down from her seat with her butt still firmly scrunched and frankenstein walked to the bathroom.
I followed her in and started to ask if she had had an accident, but as she pulled her pants down she looked up in surprise and said, "Oh, my poop melted."

If you would like to play along just look through your week and find something that made you laugh and jot it down.  Either leave a comment with your story or leave a link to your page!  Thanks for playing!


Annie Jeffries said...

I'll have to think on that. It's been a happy week but something making me laugh? I'll have to try to dig one out. In the meanwhile, your story here is priceless. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say.

kayerj said...

I'm glad you wrote that one down

Anti-Supermom said...

Aren't you happy you have a blog when this stuff happens :)

Hootin Anni said...

It's early, and the neighborhood is quiet....but I truly must say, "If I didn't wake them up with my loud laughing as I read this," then, the neighbors are dead.

This was just too too darned funny. Gotta love it. Kids...I just love 'em to pieces.

Claremont First Ward said...

Oh. my. stars. I can't stop laughing. Bathroom stories slay me.

Janae S said...

I made Matt come and read this one because it was so gosh-darn funny! Tears were leaking from my eyes!